Les Écritures

"Put Your Head On My Shoulder"
by aleaf

We meet and greet
Blithely countenances;
Smiles and all
Laughs and bawl
Walk and crawl
Our world doesn’t seem so small.

The sun curtained down to a handsome dusk
Gleaming stars sprinkled across the night’s pillar-less sky,
Downy mist and gust flees.
I felt a comfy force,
Breathing slowly next to my neck
We shed tears by the scene
As so god bequeath us the time.

Bunkum talk in the car
We imagined parodies of someone’s life
I held your palm
Kissed your cheek
Pecked your forehead for goodbye.

Watched you drive away
Until you’re sightless from my eyes,
As I looked down
I grinned and sighed a thought
His head was on my shoulder last night.

[ Aleaf ]

Casted from thousands

Destined in one town

sang their names in four sounds

each of them had their own crown.

A burly emo-freak

A drudgy valedictorian

A callow social-suicider

An egocentric self-adorer.

pictured them together

only one thing stays in common

they’re friends forever

the only best of them

Bunch of harlots

but they’re just having fun.

Almost a decade in the making

They evolved

They discovered

They enthralized

They’re the fours

to have a beds warmth
to lay with their skin
to declare dreams to the world
to have a simple meal
to have just enough
to know we can’t afford it
to have more than most
to know how things smell
to know how they feel
to get there on time
to welcome them home
to gently touch their arm
to fight off embarrassment
to stand by a person
to achieve an artistic idea
to complain about failure
to confess how we feel
to believe that we’re sorry
to sit in the night
to enjoy a good film
to have no ambition
to agree with opinions
to fight with argument
to tell a white lie
to never mean to hurt
to explain it all away
to drink with all laughters
to justify our behavior
to hope for the best
to want all forgiveness
to demand attention
to shun all affection
to live in a home
to scream and warn them
to run with cats
to quietly think
to be jealous of lust
to be able to trust
to just stay inside
to listen to sound
to enjoy time
to be in love
with you

another day
another paper mache
shaped in hearts
and 4 feet people.

another day
another chocolate brioche
baked in heartbreaks
and 1 feet people.

another day
another love message
typed in beautiful lines
and meaningful stanzas.

another day
another face
appeared in my mind
my soul and my imagination

another day
another wrenchful waits
for you, thou, thee
and him.

I was walking backwards with my umbrella

As I glared at the night sky

The moon was almost full, luminous

Scared away the gloomy clouds

Gave ways to the stars, Flaunting its sparks.

Every step I make counts your name

Every breath I take speaks your voice

Every thought I have, it’s your face,

Your face, your face, your face.

Smooth cold breeze brushes my skin

Just like your touch

Fingers ran against my cheek

Just seconds, but it means a lot.

My life changed

Since I fell for you.

My attention grew

Since my stares are at you.

I just can’t get you out of my head

Should keep it by stealth

But I couldn’t help it.

A hug to comfort me, comfort you

A kiss on your lips so that you would knew.

Whispered a song while you’re in my arms

I lay beside you, watching you as you fall asleep.

I’ve dreamt of all, will it come true?

I believe.

Alone and naughty

Zeal for fun

Broken but screamed it out

In time for him to heal.

Clicked a feeling

Caught up in love

It was an awesome bloom.

Sweet conscious

Willing to be good

He sacrificed everything

Being thoughtful everyday

To show how much he adores

To show that he really means it

Treated the one like it should be

Possessive and obsessive

He was depressively in love.

Minutes to ten

He was grinning before bed, waiting for a short conversation

The one whom he moved on with

Declared the words, likely known to him

He wish it was just a joke, but he didn’t hear any chuckles

Then the room was loud with silence

He lost it all.

Bitter consciousness

His heart wakens by hope

Disturbed still

He tried to fix everything

Saving what’s left,

Even quit the job he owned,

Neglected his best friends

Dismayed his family.

He convinced himself it was worth it

Though it wastes him, he’s a mess.

He stared at their last love letter

Touched the picture of them both

Putting it back together, but it doesn’t look the same.

He smiled a little with tears

It was just another picture to burn.

His phone blast a ring tone, it was their favorite song

A text message arrived; “I never want to hurt you, dear”

It doesn’t matter to him anymore.

It was 3.46 am

He’s hurt and in love

Helpless and foolish

He was crying as flashbacks haunts him

Cracked up with a knife in his hand

Blood was all over the keyboard

The last thing he sees

Was

“Inside A Giver’s Mind”

If that’s the best
It’s up to you.
If that’s the worse
then don’t get through.

Up to you to start anew
I could be the only few
Up to you to be with the past
I’ll be happy for you in a gust.

I will not plead
Cause it’s up to you
I will cry and bleed
Cause it’s up to me to do.

Up to you for what’s true
Up to me to be in your shoe
Up to us for what’s good
Acceptance which it should.

Up to you… Up to you

-Aleaf-

Hushes of breath
Taking paces
Flung my head
Eyes stared at him.

Meoowwww~~~ ahahahaha

Realizing that times are strangely developing it-self; moving slow and fast at the same time. Insanely speaking, I made that up but I felt that way.  A lot have happened in 2007… bullshits, shits, and a whole lot of crap. Sorry… foul words. Sue me then.

Phew, glad it’s over… but the murky stains are still visible.

My sweet pathetic life ain’t over. Ongoing, the pain continues another wound. There’s just too much pressure this year. …. … I feel like the world is on my shoulder with the moon stacked on… Even in my age now (21), I’m the same as before, as timid as before. I only learn how to pretend to be strong.

Love… hurmm… believable & complicated … *sigh*… Quoted “a self-inflicted pain”… I’ve asked for it… but I’m still alive. I’ve met an embarrassing pain… but I can live with it. Seriously I can. I’ve felt perfect before, but took seconds to make me feel like pieces of 1000 puzzles.

“So close to that famous happy end, almost believing this was not pretend… … so close and still so far”—Jon McLaughlin.

Friends? Ermm… gained lots…  (I guess). … Lost portions of my circles. Conveyed partners to friends and friends to enemies and so on… I’m just glad that I have (at least) somebody to go to; my best’s friends, close buddies, former (and soon to be) long time companion, enemies, groups, and Chunky Kit Kat… … relish able.  *sigh*

My 07… hard year. Tough, tough, tough. I’m running thru a timeline where I’ve met mishaps and opportunities. I missed counted the times I shed tears (like babies) coz I’m such an emo-freak. Bawled with people around me and mostly alone. Cultivated with happy (naughty) thoughts, my laugh laugh laugh and sweet cared ones… glad I have those.

I’m not sure who to acknowledge for 2007. God… yah! Praises… owh Lord!!! em’ em’ em’…*snap* *snap*. Should I make a list? I don’t know…  THANX to all, who had been always there for me… bla bla bla… wave to all… fair enough (right?).

Stressful. Unfulfilled dreams that would stay a dream. If I turned out to be a ghost, I would be those wandering restless souls with unfinished business, because there’s nothing left of what THEY WERE except for the PAIN.

I don’t have much to say anymore. Little by little, I’ve come to realize that my past never heals and that it’s no use fearing the future that I can’t refuse.

Gonna stop my gibberishes. I’m saying hello to 2007’s newest neighbour, 2008. *sigh*

Am I happy? Yeah I am… NOT!!!

-end-

(444 words) ahahahah…